


We'll Be a Fine Line

by marie24



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Laszlo/Nadja, Minor Nadja/Jenna, Mutual Pining, Post-Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:07:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25002136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marie24/pseuds/marie24
Summary: After the events at the Nouveau Théatre des Vampires, everything seems to have changed between Nandor and his former familiar. With a little help from the rest of the household, they work it out.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless
Comments: 17
Kudos: 92





	1. I'm in my bed, and you're not here

“I am Guillermo de la Cruz,” he proclaimed, the words ringing out across the theatre and going straight to Nandor’s dick. He shifted uncomfortably, feeling the silver rope burn his wrists, unable to look away from his famil — well, his former — his — well, his Guillermo. As he watched, rapt, the vampire-slayer stepped out into the aisle, kicking aside vampire bodies like they were nothing and stalking closer and closer to him until he was inches away, his chest heaving. Nadja and Laszlo and Colin Robinson faded away from beside him. Nandor could hear the blood pumping through Guillermo’s body, rushing just below the surface of his skin, and he licked his lips, straining at his bonds. Guillermo’s gaze traveled slowly from his eyes down to where Nandor’s tunic was tented. He smirked; Nandor squirmed. 

“Oh, so you're enjoying this, _Master_?” he teased, trailing his bloody wooden stake down the side of his face and into his beard. Nandor felt like he’d been punched in the gut, his cock jumping and, embarrassingly, a whine slipping past his lips as he considered how helpless he was… how much control his little Guillermo had over him right now. 

Nandor opened his mouth to speak, to defend himself, to indignantly deny the shivery mix of pleasure and fear he was feeling, but nothing came out. As he gazed at Guillermo’s face, trying to say something, the face slowly started to change. His soft, round cheeks began to stretch further and further out and his dark brown eyes bulged out in panic as his whole body seemed to be being blown up like a balloon. Before Nandor could blink, he realized Guillermo was going to _pop_. 

“No!” he cried out, finally finding his voice and struggling again with his bonds. “ _No, Guillermo!_ ” 

Nandor awoke suddenly, banging his head on the inside of his coffin lid as he tried to spring up. Looking around the dark coffin in confusion, he rubbed his throbbing forehead. Though his vampire healing made quick work of the bonk to his head, he noticed another throbbing still present — one that his rapid healing couldn’t fix for him. He dropped himself back down onto his pillow with an annoyed growl, rubbing both his hands over his face as he thought back to his dream. After watching his beautiful skills in battle, Guillermo’s clear pronouncement of his name had sent shivers down his spine a few weeks ago, rattling him enough that he had blurted out possibly the worst thing he could have said at that moment. Apparently his brain wasn’t going to let him forget this humiliation very easily. He grimaced and tried to get comfortable enough to get to sleep again, first laying his hands at his sides, then after a minute crossing them over his chest. _Calm down, Nandor_ , he thought to himself. _You are not in that horrible theatre; everything is fine and very normal now._

He almost laughed. He couldn’t convince himself that anything was normal now, no matter how exhausted he was. Ever since their disastrous outing to the Nouveau Théatre des Vampires, things had changed so drastically between the vampires in the house and his (former?) familiar that he was sure things could never go back to the way they were before. Guillermo’s smirking dream face swam before his vision again, and though he tried to block it out, Nandor could hear the echo of his teasing _Master_ , faintly feel the soft touch of the stake against his cheek. He shivered, his hands slowly lowering themselves down his torso. Finally, Nandor yanked his nightgown out of the way and let himself wrap his hand around his aching cock, stifling a groan at how good the pressure felt. Tiny moments flicked through his mind’s eye as he stroked: Guillermo brushing his hair, his fingers accidentally tickling the back of his neck; Guillermo’s heartbeat thundering under his hands when he takes him flying; the moment Guillermo had pressed into his chest with the wooden stakes, Carol’s dust laying next to them, and he had felt that first tingle of danger mixed with arousal that was now ever present when looking at his familiar. Finally, the teasing look on his face from this apparently recurrent dream, the corner of Guillermo’s full mouth tilting up as both of them realized simultaneously that Nandor the Relentless was tied up and thoroughly powerless in front of him, Guillermo, the human familiar turned vampire slayer. It was that last memory that pushed Nandor over the edge, his hips jerking as he came over his hand, sighing with release and more than a bit of shame.

He heard a stirring outside his coffin and froze, hand still covered in come, then relaxed again when he heard the sound of the household’s new familiar humming. They had had to find someone new to do the chores, since after Guillermo had taken them home from the theatre, he had refused to fulfill his usual familiarly duties. When the car had pulled up in front of their house, Laszlo, Nadja, and Colin Robinson had practically fled inside, though Colin Robinson had thrown a wistful look back, knowing the ensuing conversation would be delicious. Nandor had braced himself and touched Guillermo’s shoulder from the backseat, clearing his throat and preparing to… yes, he had prepared to apologize.

“I —" he had begun, then stopped short as Guillermo had turned to look at him, his face unreadable. Why couldn’t he have stayed facing the other way? This was hard enough for Nandor as it was. He cleared his throat again, starting louder this time. “I just wanted to say!” Another pause, Nandor’s brow creased in frustration and Guillermo’s eyebrows climbing. “Well, I wanted to say… thank you. You, you saved us. All of us. Including me too. And I wanted to say.” He gripped his robe tightly in his lap, looking down at where his hands had the material scrunched up. After a long pause, he muttered something that was distinctly _not_ what he had wanted to say. “I just wanted to make sure you would be helping me get ready for bed tonight still.“

Guillermo’s jaw had clenched, and he had immediately gotten out of the car, shaking his head as he went into the house without a word of response. Nandor had followed him in silently after a minute, wanting to stab _himself_ with a wooden stake before Guillermo could get to it. He had noticed Guillermo’s curtain drawn and a great confused ball of feeling wafting out from the small room behind it as he passed. He hadn’t known why Guillermo was in his old teeny closet room again, and he hadn’t stopped to ask. He had hurried past, making it to his room in one piece, throwing his blood-spattered clothes off, and climbing into his coffin, longing for someone ( _Guillermo_ ) anyone to brush his hair, to help him into his nightclothes, to blow out his candles, to unwind the horrible snake in his stomach that was currently threatening to eat him up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fic for this fandom - I just can't help it, I love Nandor & Guillermo together too too much. title is (obviously) from Harry Styles's song "Fine Line". 
> 
> I'll add tags as they become relevant! I honestly don't know a timeline or how long it will end up being, but I'll try to do a chapter a week. the only thing I can promise now is that there will be lots of feelings and lots of sex and lots of sweetness. comment and let me know what you think!!
> 
> also, find me at twentyfourmoons on tumblr.


	2. Meet me in the hallway

Guillermo heard his Master’s — well, Nandor’s heavy footsteps pass his old room and head up the stairs to his bedroom. He buried his face further into his disgusting old pillow and curled up on the lumpy mattress, trying to stop the tears before they started. Guillermo was so _angry_. He didn’t think he’d ever been this angry before, and he wasn’t even sure what he was most angry about. All he knew was that every time he saw Nandor in his mind’s eye, yelling about their laundry, gritting out the command to continue with his familiar duties as though nothing had happened, as though he hadn’t just killed dozens of vampires for them and saved their lives, his vision started to go black around the edges with the wave of rage and sadness that swelled up in him. 

After a while, he heard the lid to Nandor’s coffin drop shut with a thud. Guillermo took a shaky breath and wiped his sweaty hands on his sweater, deciding to venture out of his little room. He didn’t know why he had run into this old room rather than the blue room that was newly his; just habit, he guessed — he had dug his face into that pillow for comfort more times than he could count. He turned over and gazed up at the blank walls. He could remember where every poster had hung… Armand and variations on Dracula, along with old pictures of himself and his family and random drawings he’d found beautiful. His eyes lingered where he’d hung his anniversary glitter portrait above his old desk. Guillermo sighed as he sat up, straightened his back, and cracked his neck. He might be so angry he could kill them himself, but that didn’t mean he was going to let his stupid vampires get killed by whatever the Vampiric Council sent their way next. Reaching into his mini-fridge, he grabbed the spare stake he had left there when he changed rooms and set off to do his daily rounds, a determined look on his face. 

In the few weeks that followed, Guillermo found no sign of any vampire assassins. Instead of feeling relief, though, he could only feel a growing sense of fear. The Vampiric Council must be coming up with something big after his violent showing at the theatre, and Guillermo didn’t know if he could protect the vampires next time. His constant state of alertness had him tense and wound up, which made the relationship between him and his housemates more difficult by the day. One housemate in particular. 

Nandor hadn’t asked him to continue with any of his previous duties as a familiar since their “conversation” in the car that awful night, but Guillermo found himself returning to some of them all the same. He didn’t bring the vampires their virgins anymore, definitely feeling better about not leading innocent LARPers to their doom, and forcing the vampires to hunt on their own for the first time in years. They had gotten a new "household" familiar, but she had only lasted about a week before she'd made the mistake of trying on Laszlo's witch-skin hat while everyone was sleeping. Poor girl. It was alright, though, because as long as he didn't have to deal with too many bodies, he did actually enjoy some parts of keeping the house up. 

His favorite household task was taking care of the candles. Guillermo loved the ritual of it: he traveled around the house room by room, beginning around dusk, slowly bringing the house to light one candle at a time. He used to end with his mast— with Nandor’s room, finding it convenient to wake him when he was finished, but now he had been approaching Nandor’s room first. Slipping through the darkening house quietly, he would step into the room where he had spent so much of the last decade. As he moved around the coffin in the middle of the room, Guillermo carefully lit each candle, taking care not to make too much noise. The last thing he wanted was to wake Nandor while he was still in there, since they had done a great job so far of avoiding each other. After every candle had been lit, he would stand in the doorway, taking a deep breath and allowing himself to think for a moment about everything he pushed down throughout the rest of the day.

Guillermo missed taking care of Nandor; he did. He missed brushing his hair until it shone, knocking on his coffin with a quiet “good evening, master” each night. He missed seeing Nandor go from disheveled and sleepy to confident and alert with every layer of clothing he helped put on. Tonight, Guillermo’s heart squeezed in his sweater as he thought about the looks Nandor had been giving him the past few days. His eyes were sad — dark pools of regret pulling him in to drown. But Guillermo wouldn’t give in. He wouldn’t make the first move of reconciliation. No, that would have to be Nandor this time. Laszlo and Nadja had already come to him nervously a few days after the theater, reluctantly apologizing for how they had treated him and thanking him for saving their lives. Laszlo had blustered a bit about them not needing more protection, but Nadja had stopped him short with a hissed _Laszlo! We had discussed this!_ and he had given way easily. No matter what they said, they knew that they couldn’t take on the power of the Council alone.

Just then, he heard a shifting coming from Nandor’s coffin. Guillermo shook his head, dispelling the memory, and bolted out of the room and down the hallway. When he felt he was far enough away, he plopped onto one of the chairs randomly placed by a side table. He pushed his glasses up into his hair and put his face in his hands. That had been close. He wasn’t sure he was ready to see Nandor yet, no matter how much he missed him. Every time he thought about approaching his former master, he reminded himself of the disrespect he had been shown, how unappreciated he had been. Maybe they could reconcile, but it would have to start with Nandor putting in some effort here. 

Guillermo startled from his thoughts with a gasp, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He whirled around, glasses dropping from his hair back down onto his nose with a small thunk, and saw Nandor there, only halfway dressed, long hair a mess, and baring his teeth uncomfortably. Guillermo tried to regain his composure. 

“Oh! Oh hi Mast— uh, Nandor,” he stuttered, cursing himself inwardly for his flailing. “Uh, are you — uh — ?” He looked around for some way out of this embarrassing situation. 

Nandor grimaced. “Guillermo,” he said, his voice rough with sleep. Guillermo’s mouth snapped shut, and he looked up into those eyes against his better judgment. “Guillermo,” he said again, “I noticed that the candles around the house are-n’t lit.” Guillermo readied himself for anger again, but deflated at his next words. “Do you think I could come and light them with you tonight?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes all the chapter titles are harry styles lyrics. also i promise the chapters will be longer at some point lol


	3. Tell me something I don't already know

Guillermo was taken aback at Nandor’s request. His former master had never once shown an interest in his daily chores before, so why was he asking? Why now? And why did his bedhead have to look so goddamn cute?

“Um,” Guillermo started eloquently, pulling on the bottom hem of his sweater as he stood up. “Well, uh, sure? I was just, I just finished in your room, so if you want to come around to the rest of the house, that would be alright.” 

Nandor nodded, his eyes still looking seriously into Guillermo’s own. The moment stretched just a little too long, then Nandor suddenly clapped. 

“Great! Let’s get going on then, Guillermo, no time to waste!”

Despite Nandor’s exclamation, he followed Guillermo around with a surprising amount of patience, and Guillermo felt both of them relaxing just a little bit as they padded from room to room. In the fancy room, he taught Nandor how to work the lighter, keeping his eyes trained on the candle wick in front of them when he had to cover Nandor’s cool hand with his own. He helped him pull back on the small trigger and push the button on top forward at the same time. Nandor crowed with excitement when he finally got the end of it to light, turning to smile at Guillermo widely as he waved the lighter around in the air in triumph, then cursing as he accidentally put the flame out in the process. Guillermo couldn’t help how his answering smile spread as he ducked out of the small flame’s way. 

They made it to the library just as the final colors of the sunset disappeared on the horizon. Guillermo always saved the library for last now, knowing that it was never the room the vampires hung around in when they’d just woken up. These days Guillermo tried to stay as far away from their bedrooms as he could in the beginning of the evening. He just couldn’t take seeing Nandor rise out of his coffin without his old habits taking over: laying out his clothes for the night and smoothing out the wrinkles, taking his master’s hand as he stepped down from the coffin, running his fingers through Nandor’s sleep-mussed hair to gather up a small section into his signature little bun on top of his head. _I wanted this_ , he reminded himself every night as he lit those last candles in the library. _I wanted away_. 

So he stayed away. Away at the other end of the house, away from Nandor’s sleepy hair and sleepy eyes. He’d taken to curling up on one of the surprisingly comfortable library couches and spending an hour or so indulging in an episode of whatever show he was into at the moment before carrying on with his night, those boundaries much easier to keep when there was a suitable distance built in.

But this night, when Guillermo lit the very last candle and turned around, Nandor was not across the house just stirring from his slumber. He was here right in front of Guillermo, clasping and unclasping his hands, first in front of him and then behind his back, with his nightgown still fluttering under the colorful tunic it seemed he had thrown over top of it in a hurry. An uncomfortable silence grew between the two men. Guillermo bit his lip, looking everywhere but his former master’s face. 

A minute passed by this way. Guillermo didn’t want Nandor to leave, but he didn’t know how to ask him to stay. He didn’t want to ruin the first good moments they’d shared together since — it had been so long. Since before he’d written _sorry_ , since before he’d snuck out while it was still light, too much of a coward to look Nandor in the eye and tell him why he was leaving. Too afraid he would stay if he did. Too much of a coward with his shaking hands closing the door behind him, thinking about why it was that he couldn’t take it anymore — couldn’t handle being so close to this vampiric world that he longed for and yet still so far away from it. So close to this dark-eyed, silly, selfish, beautiful vampire that he needed, but somehow farther away from him than he’d ever been.

Nandor reached out his hand, grabbed the lighter he was clicking on and off nervously, and put it on the shelf. 

“Guillermo,” he started, but Guillermo burst out — 

“Would you like to watch a show with me?”

Nandor quirked his head and paused before answering. “Hmmm, wow, Guillermo, so soon? That is an interesting proposition, but I don’t know if the theatre is…” _Oh_. Guillermo almost choked. 

“Oh no no no, not _that_ kind of show!” He laughed a little wildly. “No, Nandor, no — just a TV show, like on the computer? Just in here. That kind. Not like a play.” Guillermo tried to control himself but couldn’t help the snort that came out as he thought about Nandor and him going to see a play right now. Nandor laughed too, his chuckles growing louder as he realized the mistake. 

“Wow, I thought, wow!” Nandor said, his eyes crinkling up. “That would be a very funny but stupid thing to say right now.” 

Their laughter calmed slowly, and Guillermo’s shoulders loosened up in a way they hadn’t for months. 

“So…?” Guillermo said tentatively, a smile still flickering across his face. 

“Yes, yes, don’t be silly, Guillermo, of course. You know I love seeing the crazy things people do in the television. What show is on today?” They moved toward the couch, Guillermo realizing at the last moment that there was the problem of how they would sit. He hung back, suddenly nervous again, but Nandor just grabbed his sweater and yanked him down beside him, squishing him between his arm and the end of the couch. Guillermo huffed, but a small smile crossed his face anyway. 

“Well, uh, we have a few choices…” He grabbed his computer from where he kept it on the coffee table and opened it, typing in his password and pulling up Hulu. 

“Yes, yes,” Nandor said dismissively, waving his hand, “That sounds good, let’s watch that one.” 

Guillermo shook his head. “Okay, M— Nandor. Let’s do…” He scrolled through the home page, looking for something that he thought Nandor might like. He did like _Twilight,_ so maybe he would like a show like _Vampire Diaries_. But Guillermo had already seen most of it, and honestly didn’t feel like the drama today. They needed something light, not something that would force them to deal with fake vampire slaughterings as well as real ones. “Ah!” he said. “You know what? Let’s do this.” 

Riffing guitars filled the library and gold outlines of houses flashed across the screen as an episode of _House Hunters International_ picked up where Guillermo had left off the other day. Nandor settled in further beside him, the warmth he would normally expect from sitting so close to someone absent, but Guillermo’s heart thawing out a little nonetheless.

Turns out, Nandor had a lot of opinions. Only a couple minutes in, he scoffed at the couple on screen. 

“Yeuch. ‘Great natural light’? No thank you. And why is this village named after a saint? We could never live here, Guillermo.” He shook his head. “These people are very bad at hunting.”

A little later: “Where are the moats, Guillermo? The guards? These homes would be so easily pillaged! Makes me miss John. We would have pillaged them so hard.”

Then, “This ‘electric range’ is for preparing human food, not for torturing? Sounds very much like a fun torturing game. Guillermo, why do we not have a game such as this?”

By the end of a few episodes, Guillermo was breathless from his attempts to hold in his laughter, and they’d completely relaxed against each other, Guillermo’s neck occasionally tickled by Nandor’s long hair. 

Their comfortable silence was broken when they heard Laszlo yelling from the other room. Nandor and Guillermo both startled, leaning away from each other a bit and turning to the door to see what the fuss is about. 

“I say, Nandor, where the devil have you been?” Laszlo said loudly, stepping into the library and stopping short when he saw their sitting situation. He continued a bit more cautiously, “Nandor, my good lady wife and I were just about to go out for a hunt. Would you care to join us?”

Nandor bared his teeth in discomfort, looking from Guillermo to Laszlo and back, clearly not wanting to leave. Just as Laszlo opened his mouth to speak again, Nandor stood up, bucking the computer suddenly onto Guillermo’s lap.

“Yes, Laszlo, obviously I want to leave. I’m starving to the death in here; I was just… waiting for you to get up. You slept so much!” 

He strode away from the couch and Guillermo's mouth twisted in annoyance. 

“Uh, Nandor?” he said, purposefully keeping his voice light.

“Yes, Guillermo, what is it?” he said, not looking over at him from the doorway. 

“Are you gonna go out hunting in your nightgown?”

Nandor grimaced and Laszlo let out a laugh from the hallway. He didn’t turn around and didn’t answer, and Guillermo watched the bottom of his nightgown flutter as he walked away. When he was out of earshot, Guillermo sighed, slumping down on the couch. He was behind schedule for the day but couldn’t bring himself to care, replaying the sound of Nandor’s laugh in his mind, how the side of his body had felt pressed up against his. He knew they had been having a good time together, so the big charade when Laszlo came in hurt even more. 

Guillermo shook his head and hit play on _House Hunters_ again. Might as well distract himself for a while, at least until they left. _I’m not their servant anymore_ , he told himself firmly. _Maybe I’ll spend the whole day watching TV!_

In the end, he spent another hour or so watching a bunch of rich people buy houses and apartments he would never be able to afford, even as a manager at Panera, before the urge to clean was too overwhelming. When Nandor, Laszlo, and Nadja returned from feeding, Guillermo was vacuuming the fancy room. He kept his back to the door when he heard his former master’s heavy footsteps pass by, pausing for just a second in the doorway before traipsing on to his room without a word.


	4. Telling those stories we already told

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another short chapter, but there's more to come!

Nandor flopped down face-first into his coffin, licking blood off his lips lazily and remembering what it had felt like to have Guillermo’s warmth pressed up against his side earlier that evening. They had been having a good time! He had finally seen a bit of his old Guillermo peeking through — until, of course, Laszlo had come in and ruined it. He sighed into the furs lining his coffin, remembering how Guillermo’s face had fallen when he had stood up so abruptly. Nandor could feel something simmering inside him, something that had bubbled up when he’d kept his back to Guillermo: a dull pain that settled in his gut, just below his ribs, and reached ceaselessly for his heart. The feeling caused him to sigh frequently, even though he hadn’t actually needed to breathe since the 13th century. It was highly unpleasant.

Nandor knew he should get up and show his face around the house, but what was the point? To run into Guillermo and have him turn away again? To see with perfect clarity that their relationship would never return to how it had been, much less evolve into anything better? At least here in his coffin the vision of their separate futures could be suppressed. He could think of other things, like when Guillermo had agreed to come home from that stupid vampire Celeste’s house. Guillermo’s cheeks had been flushed with cold as he hugged the gift pillow close, and nothing had seemed more right to Nandor at that moment than holding his arms open for him to step into. 

With some effort, Nandor turned around onto his back, brushing his hair out of his face in annoyance. It was much more difficult brushing his own hair, and he hadn’t gotten the styling quite right yet. As he tried to get his hair under control, he heard a tapping from somewhere in the room. He poked his head up out of his coffin to look around, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. _I must to get Guillermo to check — oh._ Nandor plopped his head back down with a thunk and closed his eyes against the tapping, his hair, the empty room, and the rest of the world. 

A few minutes later, he heard his bedroom door creak open. Nandor’s head shot up again. What if — ? Seeing that it was just Laszlo walking in, he rolled his eyes, falling back again. 

“What is it, Laszlo?” he asked flatly. Laszlo didn’t answer right away, coming up to the side of the coffin and meeting his eyes. Nandor felt himself fidget under his gaze. “I am very tired, Laszlo, so tell me what you want and then go away, thank you.” He tried to turn away onto his side, but Laszlo put out a hand to stop him. He spoke firmly, though there was some hesitation in his eyes.

“Nandor... you know we’ve lived together for quite a long time now, so though I wouldn’t call myself a ‘Nandor expert’ per se, I do know a few things about your way of life. And right now, old chap, my Nadja and I are of the opinion that you have fallen into a dark depression since we were all almost murdered by the Council.” Nandor began to protest, but stopped when Laszlo held up his finger. “You and I haven’t always seen eye to eye over the years, but… well dammit, man, I just can’t take seeing _Nandor the Relentless_ reduced to — this.” He waved his hand, indicating Nandor’s whole “staying in coffin all day and sulking” situation. “Tell me. Is it because the Vampiric Council hasn’t sent any more assassins after us yet? Because believe me, the rest of us are a bit nervous about that as well. Or could it be that you are having trouble hunting without Guillermo bringing our food here? And you’re finding yourself hungry?” Nandor sat up, offended. 

“I am having no trouble hunting, Laszlo! And no, I am not scared of the Council. I am Nandor the Relentless! I am not afraid,” he huffed, crossing his arms. 

At that moment, Nadja strode in, rolling her eyes, having clearly been listening in from the hallway. 

“Nandor, Laszlo, please stop this,” she said authoritatively. “He’s obviously as nervous as we all are, Laszlo, but I do think this is about something else.” She narrowed her eyes at him, and Nandor attempted to glare menacingly back at her. “Where’s Guillermo?” she asked innocently, watching Nandor closely. He stiffened.

“I — what? I have no idea where — “ 

“Mhm,” Nadja cut him off. “Just as I suspected. You’ve grown a bit too familiar with your little killer-familiar, eh Nandor?” She grinned, looking back and forth between the two men. Laszlo chuckled loudly; Nandor just narrowed his eyes.

“Please! I am not going to be entertaining these silly thoughts. I am just fine!” He slammed his hand on the edge of his coffin. “And if I am not fine, it is nobody’s business but my own!” He frowned. “But just to reiterate, I am. I am fine.”

Nadja’s smile faded into a matching frown. “Nandor,” she started, then paused. “I don’t mean this to sound rude, but you are being a big bloody idiot right now, and you should stop doing that as soon as possible.” Nandor huffed again but didn’t interrupt as she continued. “Actually, I think I might understand a little bit of what you are feeling. When I was teaching sweet Jenna our vampire ways, I began to feel something strange… At first it was just a tingling, like my heart had turned into a bat but the rest of me had stayed in human form.” She fluttered her fingers to illustrate. “The flittering kept growing and growing in my stupid chest until it finally made its way down to my vulva. Only then did I realize what was truly happening. And when I did —” she smiled wistfully “— well, let us just say we didn’t leave her room for at least a week.” Her smile morphed into a smirk and she raised her eyebrows at him. Nandor grimaced in return. “So anyway, what I am trying to say is, feeling a feeling for someone that you’ve never felt before can be difficult. But Laszlo helped me, and I’m quite sure that we could help you too, if you’d like.” 

Laszlo chimed in, “Yes indeed, old boy. These last few months haven’t been easy on any of us, and quite honestly we’d, uh… Well, we’d like to see you happy again, that’s all.” He patted the edge of the coffin twice then stuck his hands in his vest pockets, keeping his back very straight. 

Nandor took all of this in silently. He could see that they meant what they said, and he found himself unexpectedly touched. Unfortunately, Nandor knew that their help could only go so far. Jenna had only been in their lives for such a short time, so her situation was very different. While he could relate to the irritating heart and genital flutters... the risk for him was simply too great. 

The bare truth that he was coming to realize was this: Nandor needed Guillermo. Needed him in many previously-unknown-to-him ways that were making him very nervous. He didn’t even know what exactly “needing Guillermo” meant! But he was certain there would be no easier way to lose his former familiar for good than to scare him off by blabbing on about his own internal conflictions. 

As Nandor finally opened his mouth to respond to Laszlo and Nadja, their conversation was interrupted by a loud crash. They all shrieked, Laszlo immediately yelling “bat!” and shooting over to a corner of the bedroom. Jumping out of his coffin, Nandor gave a threatening yell at whoever was foolish enough to try to attack him in his own room. When he saw no one at his eye level, he looked up, down, and around, confused. Nadja growled beside him. 

“What the fuck, it’s a bloody raven!" At her words, Laszlo returned to them with a “human form!”, smoothing his hair back into place sheepishly.

All three vampires glared at the offending raven, who began preening himself nonchalantly.

“Well?” Nandor asked indignantly. “You have broken my window and flapped into my room; what is the meaning of this?!” The raven turned to look at them, flapping his wings once more and startling them all over again. Nadja was the one who finally saw a piece of paper curled up beneath the raven’s right claw. She inched forward cautiously, trying to appear casual, then snatched it out from under him with her vampire speed, whizzing back over to Laszlo and Nandor as the raven squawked and resettled itself. She unrolled the miniature scroll carefully and began to read.

_TO GUILLERMO DE LA CRUZ,_  
_DESCENDANT OF VAN HELSING,_  
_VAMPIRE SLAYER_  



End file.
